January 2016
Just A Question
June 2014
Doctors Recommend Not More Than A Glass Of Wine A Day.
May 2014
PRAYER FOR GRANDPA
DEAR GOD, PLEASE SEND CLOTHES
FOR ALL THOSE POOR LADIES ON
GRANDPA'S COMPUTER. AMEN.
April 2014
Get Out Of The Car!
This is a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida:
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the
act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun,
proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it!
GET OUT OF THE CAR!"...
The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad.
The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car
and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.
She tried and tried, and then she realized why. It was for the same reason she had
wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front
seat.
A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.
She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.
The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other
end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad,
elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair,
and carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed.
Moral of the story?
If you're going to have a senior moment...make it memorable!
March 2014
A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his
staff. While waiting for the coffee maker to finish its brewing, the
colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that
his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his
usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much
of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?" A Major chimed
in with 75 - 25% in favor of work . A Captain said it was 50 - 50%.
A lieutenant responded with 25 - 75% in favor of pleasure, depending
upon his state of inebriation at the time. There being no consensus,
the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee.
What was HIS opinion? Without any hesitation, the young PFC
responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure.” The colonel was
surprised and, as you might guess, asked why. "Well, sir, if there was
any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them.”
The room fell silent. God Bless the enlisted man.
February 2014
I thought you should know that the book,
"Understanding Women" is now out in paperback …
January 2014
No Sex Since 1955
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event
hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of
extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom
approached the Sergeant Major for Conversation. “Excuse me,
Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is
something bothering you?” “Negative, ma’am. Just serious by
nature.” The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and
said, “it look like you have seen a lot of action.” “Yes, ma’am, a lot
of action.” The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a
conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up. Relax and
enjoy yourself.” The Sergeant Major stared at her in his serious
manner. Finally the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t
take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?”
“1955, ma’am.” “Well, there you are. No wonder you’re so serious.
You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955!” She took
his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to
“relax” him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she
leaned against his bare chest and said, “Wow, you sure didn’t
forget much since 1955.” The Sergeant Major said, after glancing
at his watch, “I hope not; it’s only 2130 now”
( Gotta Love Military Time )
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Music - What A Wonderful World
by Eva Cassidy
